The Future Freaks Me Out
by Of Monsters and Me
Summary: Of course going from living on your own to sharing a small space with a group of the Galaxies most wanted would require a lot of things; time, patience, a sense of humor. It's just, no one really expected one of those things to be mouthwash. Can be read as a one-shot or as a side story for my multi-chapter work Astronautical.


**This scene was inspired by a small joke in my main work Astronautical that just kind of grew into a life of it's own. It was also a great opportunity for me to dip my toes into writing the team before being ripped apart in my story. In the Spirit of Astronautical, this story has a song for a title. "The Future Freaks Me Out" by Motion City Soundtrack. I do not own the song and It has no deeper meaning other than I thought it was a funny title.**

 **Characters and original story belong to Marvel. This is purely a fan-work made for entertainment.**

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 **The Future Freaks Me Out**

"PETER!"

Peter would have groaned out loud if his mouth wasn't currently full of toothpaste. Could he not even brush his teeth in peace anymore? It had only been four cycles since leaving Xandar and despite the total rehaul and the extra rooms, the Milano had never felt so small. Sure, it had personalized bedrooms for all of them, more shelving and storage space, a fourth piloting chair, and was practically new-car clean. Dey had even gone so far as to stock them all basic provisions, including extra dishes, towels, and soap (Was he trying to say something?) and even a set of matching black toothbrushes in a deep red holding cup that was designed to keep their stuff from rattling around during turbulence. The base was nice, but he was ditching his toothbrush as soon as they hit the next port. It had some funky Xandarian aftertaste.

At first it had been awesome having the Guardians move in with him. Like an endless slumber party; he was never alone. Now It felt like he couldn't do anything without stepping on someone's toes or elbowing someone in the face.

He settled for groaning internally and dramatically rolling his eyes at himself in the mirror before marching out to see what they wanted now. When he found no one in the main bay, he climbed up the ladder into the bridge where Gamora, who's voice had been calling him moments before, was sitting in the pilot's chair, hunched over a screen that Peter couldn't quite see, but seemed to be blinking something in red. Drax was standing behind her, with one hand on her chair, frowning down at whatever was on the screen as well.

"Whuh?" He asked around the toothbrush in his mouth.

"We are attempting to add a stop to our route, but the autopilot seems to be struggling with the command." Drax replied, scrunching up his eyebrows at the screen like it was a misbehaving child.

"Leh meh shee."

Gamora begrudgingly relinquished the controls, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

Wiping some foam from the corner of his mouth, Peter exited out the error screen and and typed in the usual commands. [Error; unknown task] blinked back onto the screen. A frown tugged at his face, the toothbrush in his mouth waving about as he pursed his lips.

"I already tried all the basic command formats," Gamora told him, as though it should have been obvious.

Peter tried again. [Error; Unknown Task] What the heck kind of backwards system had the NOVA Corps installed on his ship?!

"If you're not going to do anything helpful-"

"HEY!" A furious shout from bellow cut off whatever Gamora was going to say. "Which one'a you numbnuts took my D'ast toothbrush!" Rocket clawed his way up onto the bridge, Groot's pot gripped carefully in one arm.

"Why would a nut need to feel?" Drax asked, turning his scrutinizing expression on the angry raccoon instead of the command console.

"Nevermind!" he snapped back, teeth flashing white and ears twisted back as though trying to fuse with his skull. "Who took it?"

His furious eyes stopped on Peter, lips pulling up into what could almost be called a snarl, if one were brave enough.

"What the hell, Peter!?"

"Whuh? Hiff iff maihn!"

"Peter. Don't talk with your mouth full," Gamora admonished him. "No one can understand a word you're saying." She held out a mug that had been balanced precariously on his armrest(Seriously, had they no regard for his stuff?). It was empty save for a thin puddle of stale coffee at the bottom.

"Heh. He's makin' about as much sense as usual tah me." Rocket grumbled, still eyeing him with a murderous expression.

Peter threw his arms out in a dramatic show of his feelings about all of this, but took the offered cup and spat into it.

"I don't know what you're whining about Rocket. No one is stealing anyone's toothbrush. That's disgusting. This one is mine." Peter waved the toothbrush for emphasis as he spoke and Rocket stepped back with a sneer as some of the spittle landed on his nose. As if to prove his point, Peter shoved the toothbrush back in his mouth when he was done, crossed his arms and stuck his chin out defiantly.

"No, Star- _Dork_ ," Rocket ground out with clearly falsified patience. "The one on the bottom left is _mine_. I've been using the same one _every day_ since we left Xandar."

"You mean the top left-" Rocket and Peter both paused in their argument to shoot Gamora a questioning look. Since when was she invested in this conversation? "-The one on the bottom left is mine."

"You are ALL idiots. I have been using the one on the bottom left." Drax informed them with a laugh that slowly petered out as three pairs of horrified eyes turned to him.

There was very long silence then, during which the toothbrush in Peter's mouth soured into an unbearably nauseating flavor and he could taste the bile rising in the back of his throat.

A collective cry of disgust suddenly filled the room as they all sprang into action at once. Drax threw his head back and burst into a deafening laugh. Rocket started spitting and clawing at his tongue with his free hand (Paw? No, hand.) as though he could somehow physically remove what had been done. Peter shoved roughly past him in his rush to get to the sink, leaping into the lower level rather than using the stairs. Gamora had abandoned the pilots seat and followed after him, barely avoiding landing on top of him on the way down before grabbing a bottle of water off the counter as he shoved his entire head into the sink to rinse his mouth directly from the tap.

That's it. They were getting color coded toothbrushes at the closest stop. And mouthwash. _Lots_ of mouthwash.

 **End.**

 **Thank you for reading! This was my first one-shot and it was a lot of fun. I would love any comments or questions! Have a wonderful day or night, thanks for stopping by! ~OMaM**


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